What I mean is that, on occasion, I'll be talking to someone about something, it could be trivial, or it could be far more important, but when someone 'higher on the food-chain' than me walks in, suddenly all eyes are on them. Which is fine, thats what popularity is, after all. It's the way people seem to need me for as long as there isn't anyone else there I'm frustrated by. This wouldn't be a problem if it weren't for the superficial things they turn away to talk about. I'm not asking for thanks, admiration or respect, but if you ask for help with something, at least listen to the answer.
I hate repeating myself, but it seems as though with some people it's what I have to do to get things across to them: and then they look frustrated as though they heard me the first time. Why not reply the first time then? Was it because you were eavesdropping on a conversation someone more popular was having with someone else? I have to supress I smirk when I notice this, because it's no wonder that society is celebrity-obsessed when the same thing happens every single day in schools.
I know that jealousy isn't a particularly nice feeling to admit to, but I am jealous of the hold some people seem to have over others. Not what they use the hold for, but the hold itself. It's a human flaw to want to be heard, to want to be listened to over everyone else, but we all still want it.
Luckily for me there are people out there who do listen, who I can have a real, equal conversation with, and I do feel thankful when I see people with far less than that. I'm happy where I am, but I still find myself wanting more. It's something I'm going to work on, and maybe writing it all out is the first step. Admittance. Now it's time to act on it.
Keep singing out,
-Neon
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